how to ruin a friendship

Image reads "Dear Ida, how can I tell if a girl is into me? Should I wait for her to bring it up or should I ask? I feel as though I’ve been pretty obvious, but I’m just not sure. If she doesn’t like me, I don’t want to ruin a potentially good friendship by asking. Send help."

"How do I know if a girl is into me?"

If I knew the answer my game would be much better and I would've avoided a lot of awkward conversations.

THAT BEING SAID - Don't EVER wait for anyone to "bring it up". Take responsibility for YOUR life and go after what you want. Relationships, promotions, whatever. Don't wait for someone to decide it is now your time. Take it.


Does this girl know you are into girls? If yes, and y'all are playing the same game - just go for it. You don't have to do this whole "I want to profess my love for you" thing. Just be honest. A simple "ya know, I would really like to hang out with you as a date, not just as friends" and if she shuts it down - cool - go back to being friends. I tell my friends they're hot all the time. I've told my bestie if she weren't straight we'd be married by now. C'est la vie.

Things only get awkward if you let them.

But be mentally prepared for a "no". If you think you're being obvious she probably does know you have the feels and could be trying to avoid it at all costs but you should never be embarrassed for expressing your feelings or trying to go after someone that means something to you. You say "potentially good friendship"...if this is newer it might be easier for you to ask her out. If it gets weird, it may only be weird for a brief moment in your friendship.

I have left so much unsaid so many times in the past when it comes to ...feelings... and I am trying to step the fuck up and say what I feel when I want to instead of waiting for someone to say something first, or make the first move, or whatever it is that I have been afraid of.

Someone recently asked me about this -in person- and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her.

If you are attracted to someone, tell them. If you want to take someone on a date, ask them. If you want someone to come talk to you, go talk to them.

Shoot your shot.

Got a Q? Need advice? Want to talk about anything? Ask below!

Need advice?